Day Seven: Why Does Middle-Aged Sound So Awful and am I Almost There?

Someone called me middle-aged the other day. Someone who I may or may not be praying gets hit by a bus said that not only am I middle-aged, but that that 27 is actually the start of that particular age milestone. So we had a bit of a debate and while it was decided that at 37 I am not technically that far off from true middle age when one considers the average life expectancy of a woman, it was also decided (by me) that this guy was a huge jerk store.

Besides the fact that I refuse to believe I look my age (not that 37 is old), there's the fact that the term "middle-aged" is just offensive. What should be a mathematical notion has taken on this horrifically negative connotation. "Middle-aged" sounds like some sort of horror story. Why have we corrupted it like that. I have friends much older than me and family members that are past the traditional middle-age range and they are vibrant, energetic people. My Father is almost 70 and therefore past that particular age milestone and yet he does not seem at all middle-aged. Pops is funny and interesting, while middle-aged sounds awful. Being young or old sounds a whole lot better.

Here I am, however, nearly middle-aged. I mean, I actually think of that being around 45, but still, I guess technically I could be close to it, right? Hell, I could get hit by a bus myself next week and then middle-aged for me would have been 19. I have somehow wrapped myself up in feeling younger, I think I look younger, my career is practically non-existent, my personal life is similar to the melodrama of a college student and my bank account is in the toilet. For all intents and purposes, I'm currently living my life more similar to a young person than a middle-aged one.

Is it getting older that makes us feel old or our actual physical struggles? I don't feel old and so I like going out, being social, having a good time until 3am, but my body wants to be in my pj pants with a glass of wine and the sofa. My body is betraying my mind. So if I keep ignoring it am I legitimately going to become that old chick at the bar? Am I one day going to wake up with a hangover at 53 to discover that I'm still wearing my too tight jeans and leopard print top? If I'm middle-aged now, shouldn't I be home knitting or writing my memoirs . . . oh wait, I guess I'm kind of blogging my memoirs now. Shit.

They say you're only as old as you feel. They also say it's hell getting old. I say, it's hell only feeling young when you're getting old. I don't think I'd mind being middle-aged so much if the term didn't make it sound as if I'd signed over some right to be fun and attractive and interesting. Well screw you middle, I think I'm going to linger for a while in the beginning, then slip directly into old. Being in the middle sounds way too much like being average anyway and that's one thing I've never wanted to be.