Love is a funny thing and not one that any of us can easily understand. An organic emotion, it lives and dies by its own rules and those sometimes defy even our own desires. We fall in love for a complex and diverse set of reasons. Oddly enough, what often keeps us in love has nothing at all to do with what we thought we wanted. Every girl at some point in her life makes a list of the qualities she wants in her ideal partner. Some material, some physical, some character based, she writes them all down and this becomes her wish list in a partner and often the measuring criteria against which strangers are judged. Predictably enough, what we think we want is not always what we need or what will eventually make us happy.
"My perfect man will be tall. He will have a full head of dark, slightly wavy hair and dark eyes. He will be naturally tan with strong hands and broad shoulders. My man will wear suits to work and rolled up khakis on the beach. We'll vacation to exotic locations and speak many languages. He'll ride a Harley and be a natural with a tool box. We will dance together and share the Sunday Times before heading off to a peace rally or concert in the park. Love and emotions will come easy for him, but he'll be a man's man too, not so sensitive that he spouts poetry or tears at every tender moment. Maybe he'll play an instrument or sing to me and his friends will be many and intellectually interesting.
The list goes on, detailing both the conceptual and the minutiae, but what it does not address is the unpredictability of love itself. The heart beats to its own drummer and not by the rules we set forth. True love is to be cherished and protected and never taken for granted, but of course it will be. We take it for granted time and time again and there will be moments we reflect back on that list and wish maybe . . . just maybe. Lists are not reality and what we believe will make us happy might only be the dream of an immature mind.
What we fail to keep in focus are the qualities that last. When the Harley is put away, the hair recedes, suits turn to jeans and words and emotional outpourings get tongue-tied, we are left with the essence of the man and more importantly, the essence of how he makes us feel.
If only no one ever took love for granted. If only patience truly did last a lifetime. If only I knew what I should have known then. Love is an organic, ever-changing, ever-evolving living thing. Turning your back, even for a second, can forever alter the evolutionary growth of a once nurtured promise. If only we made lists of those qualities which matter, perhaps we'd be better equipped to recognize and value their embodiment when it came along. The path seems so long and the struggle often not worth it, but anyone who has truly been in love and more importantly, been truly loved, knows there is no struggle too great, no battle too insurmountable.
You are the one who makes me laugh, the one who makes me think. You are the man whose hand I long to hold, whose lips I yearn to kiss, your eyes those that burn through me and your day is what fascinates me. There is no song but that which you inspire in my heart and the dance of my footsteps fall into rhythm only with you. It is your heart that holds my own in its every beat. I did not write my list for you, but you fulfilled the wish I didn't even know I should make. Love is hope is forgiveness is truth. My truth is you, always.
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